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“I didn’t know what you wanted me to be…”

“Be yourself… You’ll know when you find the one… True love will find you in the end.”

Sound familiar? When I was growing up, this is what I was told about being in a romantic relationship. It’s as if love was just something I needed to get, and once I had it, it would be mine forever.

This notion represents the commoditization of love. We read articles that tell us all the things to look for in an ideal partner. We are bombarded every day by advertisements that try to sell us “happiness” using a toxic, over-sexualized version of intimacy. We shop for a new lover by swiping over faces of strangers like they are toys for us to buy, play with, and ultimately discard until we find the perfect match.

But is love really like that? Does real love not take time? Commitment? Sacrifice?

In a world of instant gratification, where everything we could ever want is seemingly at our fingertips, are we forgetting how to love?


It rained all night but I was not alone
Walking by your house to watch the jasmine grow
Silver coin, silhouette, terra cotta bloom
Endings to our story

Blues and whites, climbing out of sight beyond the wall
Twisting and turning, oh how do they go on?
Holy ghost, pirouette, river running through
Are these ours to be made of?

And so I wander
Into the light of the quiet moon
There I discover
Why it always fades too soon
I didn’t know
What you wanted me to be
I didn’t know
What the cost of love is

Photo by Sarah Kathryn Wainwright

Photo by Sarah Kathryn Wainwright

Jasmine (demo with alternate ending)


“People in every age have something they deeply believe in, something that in 50 years time people will look back on and say “My God, look how conformist they all were.” You look at the photographs of men in bars in the 1930s. They’re all wearing exactly the same clothes and same hats.”    

     - Adam Curtis        


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